One Moment At A Time.

So this entry is kind of a culmination of two previous posts. The one where I talked about the 88 truths of life and how comfort is an addiction. I went back and read those truths the other day and I found another one I enjoy which my friend also pointed out in the comments of that post. And it is this:

You never have to live for more than one moment at a time.

This one has been particularly useful to me the past few weeks as I've had a few ups and downs lately. The 2nd post that this entry relates to is the one where I wrote about being a writer. Or failing at being one. But finally, both of my posts have come to action. I live for moments at a time and I have finally written a poem! Although inspiration seems to strike me best in that state of half-awake-half-asleep but I managed to get it down before the land of nod takes over. It could probably still use a bit of work, but for your um, delight? I've decided to share it here with you. You'll maybe understand the moments part of it when you read it :P

Love me in a moment,
When time shall stand still,
As we gaze,
Deeply,
Longingly,
Lovingly,
Into each others eyes,
The windows of our souls,
As they intertwine,
Like your fingers,
Laced with mine,
As our hearts beat rapidly,
While lips caress,
Skin on skin,
And love fills,
The empty void,
Hidden deep within,
Then the clock [tick tock],
Ticks and it chimes,
As we fall together,
Apart,
You loved me in that moment,
Then you broke my heart.

Until next time,
Sami
:)

21 List: Update.

So I started this blog with a post listing 21 things I'd like to achieve by the time I'm 21 and it's been a few months and people are starting to ask questions. I know it seems like I'm not acting on many of them, but these things take time and I'm doing little things that you might not be aware of so I decided an update about them was necessary, just so you know that I'm not a complete failure of a person. So here we go -
1. Learn to Drive - waiting on my provisional to arrive!
2. Get a Job - have applied several places, have interview in morning.
3. Be able to play Expert on Guitar Hero - i fail at this one.
4. Write something publishable - bleeeh.
5. Make a new friend - Made new friends at University.
6. Reconnect with an old friend - Reconnected with people from my past :D
7. Read 50 Books (and subsequently, post the finished list here)- My current total is 5 and I'm waiting on more to arrive for me to read!
8. Make a photo album containing photos of friends and fun times. - photos are being taken when I'm out and about.
9. Keep a notebook of quotes that I like that I have heard/read throughout the year. - Yeah, I'll start this one eventually.
10. Get another tattoo - to be done asap.
11. Save £1000 - I hate money. Hopefully the job will help with this one.
12. Visit another country - I'm going to England in September and hopefully somewhere nice in summer.
13. Get an O2 number Done this at New Years when I got a new phone :)
14. Master one recipe to perfection and post it as a blog! - I think I'm going to master the art of vanilla or chocolate cupcakes. Which would you prefer?
15. Buy something from a designer label (Prada? Jimmy Choo?) I bought a Swarovski Crystal Butterfly Necklace.
16. Go to a concert of a band I enjoy listening to. I'm going to see Paramore in June :)
17. Learn to speak a different language or how to play an instrument. - Ah bollocks, I forgot about this one.
18. Go on a proper date (like, for dinner, with a boy I like and whom likes me :P) - I have been offered a date but I didn't like the guy so I politely declined! Any other takers?
19. Have a spa day with someone. - Yes, to be had soon.
20. Try and have a successful blog with readers that comment (who are more than just my personal friends and family). - Well, here I am, updating, only 8 days after my last one, I'll get there eventually!
21. Fall in Love (Here's hoping!) - Well, this one has always been doubtful.

So there you go. Out of a possible 21, I have completed 5 and started most of the rest of them. So I don't think I'm doing too badly. But really, if you know, you want to donate to teh Sami fund, or take me on a date, or teach me a new language, or how to drive, I'd definitely appreciate it! Do you lot have any goals for this year? Share in the comments!

I can and I will.

So, I know I am bad at this blogging thing, but to be fair, I've been sick for basically two weeks straight which has sucked but I seem to have perked up tonight upon realizing tomorrow I return to normal routine and stuff. I am excited!

Anyway, recently I've been wondering if I've chosen the right University course. As weird as it sounds. I study English and I study it because since I was about 10 and relatively more aware that being a Pony-Rider isn't an actual job, I knew I wanted to write.

It developed more in my early teens when in my emo-depresso stage, I wrote poetry. Seams and seams of pages of poetry. It might not have been happy but it was still a way for me to express my emotions. An emotional release I called it if I remember correctly.

Since my early teens, I haven't written as much. I did achieve 50 000 words for NaNoWriMo one year and wrote a couple of poems stemming from a relationship and a major life change. However, since then I seem to have hit a blockage, a wall of some kind I couldn't seem to get over and I'm sure you all have noticed with my lack of blogging and stuff. All of this made me doubt myself. I attempted NaNoWriMo this past November but I just couldn't muster it.

I felt a little lost, they say to be a writer, you need to write everyday and I was barely writing once a month. That hasn't changed, but my attitude has. I guess by believing that I couldn't write, that I had hit a wall, stemmed my blockage more. It's not just inspiration you need, but motivation and energy and focus.

I can't say I'll ever have all of those at one time and it'll be a miracle if I do. But I don't feel as lost anymore. I've had some kind of epiphany that stemmed from a conversation from an old friend who was needing help deciding what to do. I was giving him advice on what course he should study and amidst my, you can do it, you'll be fine exclamations,I applied this logic to myself.

Sometimes you really should heed your own advice. I know that if I want to be a writer, I might need to actually write a bit more than I have been. But now that I've perked up, that my attitude has changed, that I can see a little bit more clearly, I know in my heart that I can be a writer. That I will be a writer and that's all that matters!

And if you're doubting yourself, then take this advice:

You can and you will!

Comfort.

Hello blogosphere, I know it's been too long and I hope you can forgive me for that! But here I am on this actually-quite-horrible-outside Monday with a sparkily new layout and I have posts planned and ready to go. So, on with it!

A few friends and I were talking the other day randomly over a meal and a hot chocolate (it might be spring, but hey it's still cold). We often make fun of one of my friends for being hot-headed and for play-fighting when there is no real need for violence. In a reaction to that, my other friend brought up the 88 truths about life.

I personally hadn't heard of these 88 truths about life but I went home and decided to look it up. I found it Here. I read the list and understood that he was talkng with reference to my friend about number 21:

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

Whether you choose to believe that is one thing or another, I don't believe it's a weakness, it's just a way of dealing with things that is different from others. But anyway, as I read down the list, I found myself nodding in agreement with most of them until I reached number 30:

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

This one kind of shocked me until I sat down and thought it over. Comfort is a common addiction. Some people dream big and then never get to achieve their dreams because they feel that home is a better place for them to be. Of course it is, because it's what you are used to, it's comfortable enough for you. I myself, am guilty of this addiction, I prefer being somewhere I feel comfortable and I hate new situations because they make me uncomfortable, and they shouldn't. It's just because I'm so used to and comfortable with what I have accepted as my life for the meantime.

But it's this addiction to comfort that will hold us back and probably has already held us back from things in our lives and that scares me. Because I'm a big dreamer, I want to get out of this country and live elsewhere and explore and achieve things that I have dreamt of and if I get too comfortable here with my life now, will I be able to break my addiction and push myself to the limit?

So yeah. There's a thought for you. And you should read the 88 truths and let me know your opinions on them and most especially this one. The more you comment, the more likely I am to keep blogging :P.

So, don't get too comfortable, but stay safe and have a good Easter!

Bloggy Times.

I've been sitting here for almost an hour now staring at the blinking cursor, trying to come up with something interesting to write about.

After my last post about love and stuff, I found myself wondering, what is it that attracts to one another? I researched this topic and the answers weren't very interesting. It's the simple chemical reaction in our brains, our reaction to the opposite sex's smell, or personality, or whatnot.

AHA! I've just had an idea! See, I knew typing would eventually bring something up in my brain. This week at Univerisities all around the world, is known as RAG week. RAG stands for Raising and Giving. For a student, this means, getting drunk for a week straight and all the money goes to charity. My University will be donating to Habitat for Humanity and donations toward the relief fund in Haiti.

Talking of that, I'm sure many of you have heard of the popular video playing website, Youtube. On that site, I follow some very interesting people who make video blogs and stuff. Many of them are very talented and also do other things, for example, many of them are recording artists on an independent label and some of them are new york times bestsellers. However, their youtube community has been based around a love of the Harry Potter books.

The Harry Potter fan community is one of the biggest around and I only get to witness a tiny amount of it, from those who play wizard rock songs to those who write plays featuring HP characters. However, there is a website called The HP Alliance. These past few weeks, the HP alliance have been trying to raise money for the Haiti relief fund. So far, they've raised $97, 000. If they get to $105, 000, that will be enough to fuel and send three cargo planes full of relief effort stuff to Haiti.

In an effort to encourage you more, there are prizes being given out for your donations, you could win albums, signed HP memoribila and many many other things. So, since it's RAG week and all that, I encourage you to go and donate and Help Haiti Heal.

Click Here To Do So!

Until next time,
Sami
xo

Love Harder

I promised you all an update and so finally, I have something to talk about! It might sound a bit dorky by the way, but awk well!

Last Semester I took a module entitled "Love Poetry". The first lecture in this module was about the stages of love and the types of love. Some of these might be pretty obvious to you, friend love, family love etc. However, our module went a bit more in depth right to Erotic Love and Idealistic Love and Romantic Love. As interesting as that is, I am here to talk about the three most identifable stages of love, which are: Lust, Passion and Attachment and in that order.

The theory goes, that when you first meet a person you find attractive, you lust after them, which is pretty obvious. At this stage of love, hormones named testosterone and estrogen are released, which is also pretty obvious.There isn't much to say about this stage of love, it's obvious, we find a person we are attracted to, we lust/desire to have them and develop a relationship with them and we try our hardest to make this happen. Without lust, we might not find someone special but it is our desire for more intimate relations that lead us to passion.

Passion is the second stage of love. When we fall passionately in love (which occurs more frequently in men believe it or not) we are said to be blind. We are unaware of all of our partner's flaws. We fall head over heels, blindly, passionately in love with each other. We idealize our partner and we can't get them off our minds. In this stage, partners get to know each other on the most easiest and most intimate of levels and if after that, they decide that a relationship is worth pursuing, the third stage of love is then entered into.

Attachment then, is the third stage of love. When we have fallen in love with a person, we have gotten past the passion and intimacy and have reached a comfortable level in our relationship with each other. It is this stage of love that is most difficult, it is when arguments arise and the relationship needs to be strong enough to withstand problems in order to continue. It should also be noted, that in this stage of love, oxytocin, vasopressin and endorphins are released in our brains, which are also chemicals that come from having sexual intercourse that make us happy.

I know that all sounds like a bit of a lecture. But I found it quite interesting to note that we all fall into different stages of love. I admit here and now that I have been in all 3 stages of love. I am currently still in two - lust and attachment and it so happens, it's with two different people. It's complicated for me to be attached to one person, to not want to let them go because I am secure with where I am with them and at the same time, be lusting after someone else. This is a normal situation by the way, during my studies, I read manys a poem from sappho to ovid about how they were married and attached to their life partners and yet lusted after mistresses and things. So there you have it, next time you find yourself feeling loved up, you'll be able to understand the reasons why, or what stage of love you happen to be in and you might find you are in more than just one.

I am no expert on love, I just wanted to share what I have learnt from my studies - my degree had to come in useful somewhere haha. But from experience, having experienced love once (mainly passionate love) I admit to you that love is strong and complicated and powerful and it's a mess. But it is also something great and nice and amazing and hopefully one day, myself and the people around me will fall in love with someone who loves us back and loves us completely, for who we are.

And while I am on the topic of love, I want to bring your eyes to the title of this post - 'Love Harder'. I am not a big person on the blogging scene as you know, but I am an avid reader of regular blogs, such as Hope Dies Last and Hayley G Hoover which are two very unique and interesting bloggers. However, I happened to be a regular reader of a blog entitled "It's like I'm...mmmagic!". The writer of that blog is called Brandy and she is in love with a H.A.D (Hot Awesome Dude). Recently, her H.A.D. has been diagnosed with multiple myeloma. This is devastating news for Brandy and H.A.D and just before Christmas she made a plea to all of her blogger friends who in turn set up a website entitled Love Harder. I encourage you all to click here and read her story and if you fancy it, make a donation, buy a hoody or a t-shirt, or a mug. As for me, when I decide whether I want a new hoody or t-shirt, I'll make a purchase too!

In conclusion readers, I say this, Live, Laugh and Love Harder because you never know what lies around the corner!

Sami
xo

Sami Needs Something!

Okay, so yes, I know, I'm a bad blogger. It's been like 24 days and I still haven't managed to come up with something interesting to write about.

I haven't been doing anything interesting enough to make a blog worthy post. In the last 24 days, I've slept way too much, ate lots of unhealthy foods, played Farmville way too much, did two exams and really, that's about the height of it.

So, if you want me to write about my days on farmville and documenting food I like to eat that is about 20 000 calories more than my body should intake, then sure, I'll do that.

But really? What are you guys wanting to know about? I know the whole point of a blog is to write something interesting, to share your thoughts and ideas and opinions. But I just don't have any right now...kinda, sorta, maybe. I mean of course I do, but they aren't interesting enough for blogging about.

So reply, give me things to talk about and I'll talk about them :P.

I promise though, my routine goes back to normal on Monday, so I'll try and post weekly from then on :D (just, don't hold me to that, k?).