Future Husband Series; Letter 1.

So recently, I've been reading round some blogs tryna up my blogosphere-presence by commenting and stuff and I discovered PeterDeWolf via one of my favourite blogggers, Hope Dies Last. In Peter's blog he likes to write poetry and letters to his future wife which can both be beautiful and heart-warming or sexy and steamy!

The discovery of his future-wife-letters timed with the arrival of one-very-sexy-australian named John James entrance into the uks ultimate reality tv show, Big Brother 11 and his talks about what he does and doesn't like in bed and other places, have lead me to believe that he is my future husband. So I decided, until BB11 ends and to give me something to write about, I'm going to run a future-husband series of blogs where I will write letters to future-husband and I may even get some of my friends to guest-blog some letters for hilarity's sake. So, lo and behold, Future-Husband Letter 1 is included with this entry.

Also, as a side note, if you're reading this blog, can you comment? Really, it gives me more incentive to write more because I know you're commenting and reading and wanting more. So, please comment. Even if it just says "Okay Sami", just write that if you cant be constructive, please? Thank you. Moving On.

Dear Future Husband,

I am Sami. I am your future wife, just thought I'd introduce myself. Im sure you'll learn a lot about me from these letters anyway.

I guess since we haven't met yet, I should give a physical description.

I'm a brunette technically. But after going through some gothic-emo stage in my life, my hairs a bit worse for wear, not that you'll mind as you run your fingers through it gently, which I hope you will, cause I like that.

And let's be honest, my boobs are a bit of a handful. But you can handle it, so don't worry about that. And my booty. It's a bit like beyonce's. Well maybe a bit smaller and not as toned. But booty and boobs, thank my mother for those genes if you will.

Also, I'm quite short. I reach a mighty 5'5ish. But I like being small. Good things come in small packages, most of the time.

I've got good legs for being short. I inherited those from my mother too. Shes cool, she'll like you, I hope.

I've got 2 tattoos also, a result of my time at Uni. One is on my inner right leg, it's a small butterfly, with two pink flowers. I decided that the butterfly is me and the flowers represent family and friends. Some people say the placement is unusual, I like to believe its intimate.

My other tattoo is on my lower back, it's a butterfly with cherry blossoms. I like it. It doesn't really have meaning yet. Can you tell I like butterflies?

Well, kind of. I like that butterflies are beautiful, that they grow from caterpillar, into a cocoon where they immerse unique and gorgeous into their freedom and independence. It's kind of like the transition from young girl into young woman. Our knowledge and experiences help us form our older, more beautiful selves.

I wear butterflies round my neck as a necklace too. Im currently wearing a small silver one my mother bought me. I also have a swarovski crystal butterfly that changes colour with the reflection of the light, i did wear that for a while but im saving it for my birthday now.

I also only wear one ring at the moment, on my middle left-hand finger. It's small, white gold, with silver and sapphire diamonds. I like small and dainty things (thats a hint for you dear, a small and dainty ring will go over way better than a huge rock ;)).

Im not going to lie either, I am not skinny. I would actually be what we know as an average woman depending on how much you buy into the skinny-girls thing. But I hope you like curves. It's way sexier to be able to outline the curve of a woman's body than have a stick thin straight up and down woman (no offence to readers there).

One of my favourite features is my eyes. They are a coffee-bean brown and though they hide behind glasses half the time and are quite small (and i look a bit chinese on occasion) they are still nice to stare back into. I believe eyes are the windows to the soul, so it will take me a while to be able to stare at you completely. Don't be offended by that, it just takes a lot of strength to be able to stare at someone so seriously, to look deep into their eyes and further into their soul.

My neck, as far as necks go, is pretty normal. But if you want to lay some sweet kisses on it, I would thoroughly enjoy it. And you will too, when you learn how to work it, work me.

So there you go future-husband, a small snippet of me and plenty more to come.
Love always,
Future Wife.

Love Cats, Hate Insomnia

So you think any normal 20 year old during her summer, would you know have a job, work some days and then go out on her nights off and stumble home drunk at 2am and crawl into bed and sleep it off before working again and the routine goes on and on.

Well, I am not a normal 20 year old. I don't have a job, though I am trying my hardest to get myself one and since I dont really have the money to go out night after night, I spend my nights lying awake til 4am because I cant sleep due to some darn reason or another.

Then when I finally get to sleep, I have weird dreams. So late last night, I was tryna sleep and my cat Twix decided to amuse me so I decided to compile a list of reasons a) why i love cats and b) why I hate Insomnia. So here we go.

Why I Love Cats
1. Because they are soft and cuddly and cute.
2. Because they are highly amusing when you are eating crisps and they paw at it and knock it out of your hand.
3. Then when they eat the crisp they proceed to lick their lips 100 times over because of the flavour.
4. In your attempt to try and sleep, you get yourself a glass of milk, your cat then tries to drink it at the same time as you and fails. So then decides she'll dip her paw in and drink it that way. Then when you finish your glass, she dips her paws in and basically washes the dish clean.
5. When they nudge your nose with their nose, it's like a wee cat-kiss.
6. They always know when you feel sad and will come and cuddle you.
7. When they do that funny meow when they are sitting on the windowledge and they see birds they want to catch.
8. When they are so attached to you that they follow you about the house as you go to make tea, or use the bathroom and back again.
9. When you scratch behind their ears and their back leg goes as if they are scratching it themselves.
10. When you are lifting them to put them outside and they clung on to you for dear life like "nooo don't put me outside!".

Why I Hate Insomnia.
1. Because lying awake at night when everyone else is asleep is highly boring.
2. Since you dont get to sleep until some ungodly hour, you sleep until some late hour of the day and then it's too late to be bothered to do anything.
3. It royally fucks up your eating pattern too.
4. Because there are only so many times you can play farmville, petville, read facebook or listen to your ipod before you go insane.
5. Because everyone thinks you're lazy because you sleep all day, but really it's because you can't sleep at night!
6. Unless you know other insomniacs, you have no one to talk to so you just lie in bed, awake, thinking of all the things you dont want to think about.
7. When your friends try to contact you at like 9am to go into town but your like "I just got to sleep dont disturb me!!!!" and then they're all like "Jesus, whats up your arse?" haha.
8. Because its just generally shit.
9. Because when you do eventually get to sleep, you have the weirdest dreams that don't make sense and wake up confused.
10. Because when someone asks what you've been up to all day and you say "Sleepin lolz" they're like "You're so lazy, get yourself a life!!". I have oneee, it just involves being awake at ungodly hours of the night, maybe you should try it sometime!

So there you go. 10 reasons why I love cats and hate insomnia, because I've nothing better to blog about right now. Sigh.

p.s. Since I was talking about cats, thought I'd give a shout-out to this lovely tumblr blog: Cute Boys With Cats.

I am trying to be truthful.

I know this blog goes through more design changes than actual blog posts. But this time I'm finally happy with how it looks. It's a bit of return to form for me, the blog looks similar to my first one, Sami and the City, the colour scheme is almost identical but the banner is different. I like my crayon-banner. It's cute.

So now that the blog has returned to form, the posts hopefully will too. You see, for a long time, I've gone through blog after blog, trying to fit myself back into the blogosphere, in a comfortable position. But I realised, there was nothing wrong with the way I was before, it was just that the people reading it at the time had problems with my posts, which is understandable but we've gone past that now and resolved our issues, well some of us anyway.

And so, I'm not letting it stop me anymore. I enjoyed writing in my sex-and-the-city inspired way and since the second SATC movie has just been released and it's amazingly awesome, I feel that It's time for me too, to return to form. So from here on, I'm in for the long haul. It might be emotional and problematic as life always is, but you'll just have to bare with me.

I also must admit, since it's now summer, I'm more likely to whinge about how life is boringly shit, because I've nothing to do. When in reality, I'm sure there are at least 21 (see what I did there!) things I should/could be doing. Well, I think I've compeleted 6, the update post said 5, but since then I got another tattoo, so that totals me at 6. Yay me. I've also now read 13 books and I'm still going. My friend got me started on a series of 15, so that'll be fun haha.

So yes, return to form, long haul, 21 things to do between now and September. Whinging, emotional, problematic. Isn't blogging supposed to be a place for you to put your feelings and ideas and thoughts and opinions? Yes, it really is. So if you don't like it, then don't read it. Hit the X in the corner. I'm fed up having to bite my tongue on this page, it's my page, my thing, I am writer and I'll be damned if I don't write. This blog is a start for that. If I am honest with myself, I can be honest with you guys and thus, the world is a better place.

So, to start us off on the right track. Tell me one honest fact about yourself that I don't already know and it must be something worth telling, not like your name or age or where you live. Something I'd want to know, something intriguing and interesting. Make me want to get to know you better.

Here's mine:

I have lots of notebooks I never write in because I think they're too pretty to ruin. I also have shoes I buy but have never worn just because they're too pretty not to buy and I haven't had an opporunity to wear them.

That's probably not interesting at all but I really can't think of anything. So if you have a dire need-to-know something then just ask me, I am afterall, trying to be truthful.

One Moment At A Time.

So this entry is kind of a culmination of two previous posts. The one where I talked about the 88 truths of life and how comfort is an addiction. I went back and read those truths the other day and I found another one I enjoy which my friend also pointed out in the comments of that post. And it is this:

You never have to live for more than one moment at a time.

This one has been particularly useful to me the past few weeks as I've had a few ups and downs lately. The 2nd post that this entry relates to is the one where I wrote about being a writer. Or failing at being one. But finally, both of my posts have come to action. I live for moments at a time and I have finally written a poem! Although inspiration seems to strike me best in that state of half-awake-half-asleep but I managed to get it down before the land of nod takes over. It could probably still use a bit of work, but for your um, delight? I've decided to share it here with you. You'll maybe understand the moments part of it when you read it :P

Love me in a moment,
When time shall stand still,
As we gaze,
Deeply,
Longingly,
Lovingly,
Into each others eyes,
The windows of our souls,
As they intertwine,
Like your fingers,
Laced with mine,
As our hearts beat rapidly,
While lips caress,
Skin on skin,
And love fills,
The empty void,
Hidden deep within,
Then the clock [tick tock],
Ticks and it chimes,
As we fall together,
Apart,
You loved me in that moment,
Then you broke my heart.

Until next time,
Sami
:)

21 List: Update.

So I started this blog with a post listing 21 things I'd like to achieve by the time I'm 21 and it's been a few months and people are starting to ask questions. I know it seems like I'm not acting on many of them, but these things take time and I'm doing little things that you might not be aware of so I decided an update about them was necessary, just so you know that I'm not a complete failure of a person. So here we go -
1. Learn to Drive - waiting on my provisional to arrive!
2. Get a Job - have applied several places, have interview in morning.
3. Be able to play Expert on Guitar Hero - i fail at this one.
4. Write something publishable - bleeeh.
5. Make a new friend - Made new friends at University.
6. Reconnect with an old friend - Reconnected with people from my past :D
7. Read 50 Books (and subsequently, post the finished list here)- My current total is 5 and I'm waiting on more to arrive for me to read!
8. Make a photo album containing photos of friends and fun times. - photos are being taken when I'm out and about.
9. Keep a notebook of quotes that I like that I have heard/read throughout the year. - Yeah, I'll start this one eventually.
10. Get another tattoo - to be done asap.
11. Save £1000 - I hate money. Hopefully the job will help with this one.
12. Visit another country - I'm going to England in September and hopefully somewhere nice in summer.
13. Get an O2 number Done this at New Years when I got a new phone :)
14. Master one recipe to perfection and post it as a blog! - I think I'm going to master the art of vanilla or chocolate cupcakes. Which would you prefer?
15. Buy something from a designer label (Prada? Jimmy Choo?) I bought a Swarovski Crystal Butterfly Necklace.
16. Go to a concert of a band I enjoy listening to. I'm going to see Paramore in June :)
17. Learn to speak a different language or how to play an instrument. - Ah bollocks, I forgot about this one.
18. Go on a proper date (like, for dinner, with a boy I like and whom likes me :P) - I have been offered a date but I didn't like the guy so I politely declined! Any other takers?
19. Have a spa day with someone. - Yes, to be had soon.
20. Try and have a successful blog with readers that comment (who are more than just my personal friends and family). - Well, here I am, updating, only 8 days after my last one, I'll get there eventually!
21. Fall in Love (Here's hoping!) - Well, this one has always been doubtful.

So there you go. Out of a possible 21, I have completed 5 and started most of the rest of them. So I don't think I'm doing too badly. But really, if you know, you want to donate to teh Sami fund, or take me on a date, or teach me a new language, or how to drive, I'd definitely appreciate it! Do you lot have any goals for this year? Share in the comments!

I can and I will.

So, I know I am bad at this blogging thing, but to be fair, I've been sick for basically two weeks straight which has sucked but I seem to have perked up tonight upon realizing tomorrow I return to normal routine and stuff. I am excited!

Anyway, recently I've been wondering if I've chosen the right University course. As weird as it sounds. I study English and I study it because since I was about 10 and relatively more aware that being a Pony-Rider isn't an actual job, I knew I wanted to write.

It developed more in my early teens when in my emo-depresso stage, I wrote poetry. Seams and seams of pages of poetry. It might not have been happy but it was still a way for me to express my emotions. An emotional release I called it if I remember correctly.

Since my early teens, I haven't written as much. I did achieve 50 000 words for NaNoWriMo one year and wrote a couple of poems stemming from a relationship and a major life change. However, since then I seem to have hit a blockage, a wall of some kind I couldn't seem to get over and I'm sure you all have noticed with my lack of blogging and stuff. All of this made me doubt myself. I attempted NaNoWriMo this past November but I just couldn't muster it.

I felt a little lost, they say to be a writer, you need to write everyday and I was barely writing once a month. That hasn't changed, but my attitude has. I guess by believing that I couldn't write, that I had hit a wall, stemmed my blockage more. It's not just inspiration you need, but motivation and energy and focus.

I can't say I'll ever have all of those at one time and it'll be a miracle if I do. But I don't feel as lost anymore. I've had some kind of epiphany that stemmed from a conversation from an old friend who was needing help deciding what to do. I was giving him advice on what course he should study and amidst my, you can do it, you'll be fine exclamations,I applied this logic to myself.

Sometimes you really should heed your own advice. I know that if I want to be a writer, I might need to actually write a bit more than I have been. But now that I've perked up, that my attitude has changed, that I can see a little bit more clearly, I know in my heart that I can be a writer. That I will be a writer and that's all that matters!

And if you're doubting yourself, then take this advice:

You can and you will!

Comfort.

Hello blogosphere, I know it's been too long and I hope you can forgive me for that! But here I am on this actually-quite-horrible-outside Monday with a sparkily new layout and I have posts planned and ready to go. So, on with it!

A few friends and I were talking the other day randomly over a meal and a hot chocolate (it might be spring, but hey it's still cold). We often make fun of one of my friends for being hot-headed and for play-fighting when there is no real need for violence. In a reaction to that, my other friend brought up the 88 truths about life.

I personally hadn't heard of these 88 truths about life but I went home and decided to look it up. I found it Here. I read the list and understood that he was talkng with reference to my friend about number 21:

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

Whether you choose to believe that is one thing or another, I don't believe it's a weakness, it's just a way of dealing with things that is different from others. But anyway, as I read down the list, I found myself nodding in agreement with most of them until I reached number 30:

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

This one kind of shocked me until I sat down and thought it over. Comfort is a common addiction. Some people dream big and then never get to achieve their dreams because they feel that home is a better place for them to be. Of course it is, because it's what you are used to, it's comfortable enough for you. I myself, am guilty of this addiction, I prefer being somewhere I feel comfortable and I hate new situations because they make me uncomfortable, and they shouldn't. It's just because I'm so used to and comfortable with what I have accepted as my life for the meantime.

But it's this addiction to comfort that will hold us back and probably has already held us back from things in our lives and that scares me. Because I'm a big dreamer, I want to get out of this country and live elsewhere and explore and achieve things that I have dreamt of and if I get too comfortable here with my life now, will I be able to break my addiction and push myself to the limit?

So yeah. There's a thought for you. And you should read the 88 truths and let me know your opinions on them and most especially this one. The more you comment, the more likely I am to keep blogging :P.

So, don't get too comfortable, but stay safe and have a good Easter!