I can and I will.

So, I know I am bad at this blogging thing, but to be fair, I've been sick for basically two weeks straight which has sucked but I seem to have perked up tonight upon realizing tomorrow I return to normal routine and stuff. I am excited!

Anyway, recently I've been wondering if I've chosen the right University course. As weird as it sounds. I study English and I study it because since I was about 10 and relatively more aware that being a Pony-Rider isn't an actual job, I knew I wanted to write.

It developed more in my early teens when in my emo-depresso stage, I wrote poetry. Seams and seams of pages of poetry. It might not have been happy but it was still a way for me to express my emotions. An emotional release I called it if I remember correctly.

Since my early teens, I haven't written as much. I did achieve 50 000 words for NaNoWriMo one year and wrote a couple of poems stemming from a relationship and a major life change. However, since then I seem to have hit a blockage, a wall of some kind I couldn't seem to get over and I'm sure you all have noticed with my lack of blogging and stuff. All of this made me doubt myself. I attempted NaNoWriMo this past November but I just couldn't muster it.

I felt a little lost, they say to be a writer, you need to write everyday and I was barely writing once a month. That hasn't changed, but my attitude has. I guess by believing that I couldn't write, that I had hit a wall, stemmed my blockage more. It's not just inspiration you need, but motivation and energy and focus.

I can't say I'll ever have all of those at one time and it'll be a miracle if I do. But I don't feel as lost anymore. I've had some kind of epiphany that stemmed from a conversation from an old friend who was needing help deciding what to do. I was giving him advice on what course he should study and amidst my, you can do it, you'll be fine exclamations,I applied this logic to myself.

Sometimes you really should heed your own advice. I know that if I want to be a writer, I might need to actually write a bit more than I have been. But now that I've perked up, that my attitude has changed, that I can see a little bit more clearly, I know in my heart that I can be a writer. That I will be a writer and that's all that matters!

And if you're doubting yourself, then take this advice:

You can and you will!