Reflections on 2010/11

I was about to start writing this blog then I got some hunger pangs and decided to have some Nutella on toast.

So now I'm eating Nutella on toast while typing this blog to you. It's good. I bet you want some now. I'll give you five minutes to go make some. Now go.....

Usually people who post blogs about the old/new year are all "I had a shitty fucking year so here's my resolutions for 2011". I am one of those people who stopped making Resolutions a long time ago. They were never realistic enough for me to even attempt to complete them and a friend once said, why wait for the new year to start something? Do it now, this very minute. That was on some idle Tuesday afternoon in the middle of the year.

So really, while the start of a new year gives you a good timing point to start something, with the new year in tow, if you really wanted to do it, you'd be doing it already. Ironically, I will be starting a project myself come 12:01 on January 1st. More about that in a moment.

To be honest, 2010 has been an alright year for me. I've had some mainly financial difficulties but I've gotten through it and I'm surviving, just about. I turned 21 in 2010 which to be honest, feels no different than being 18 but I did manage to complete quite a few of the things on my 21 list, not all of them on time of course and I'm still trying for the ones not ticked off. I've lost some friends along the way and made some new ones too and so all in all, like every blooming year, it's sometimes shitty and sometimes not.

Also, I know my blogging has been particularly shit this year but I have a life, I'm 21, remember. No, I'm kidding. I do intend to keep blogging through the new year and while my "i want to start a new blog" itch has resurfaced I can't be arsed to think up a new name or redesign for the layout and so I'm just going to stick it out on here. Of course, I don't have a frequent posting schedule and probably still won't because, this is my last semester before I graduate and that means its Dissertation time. I do hope to post more Future Husband letters which I have seemingly failed to keep up with.

One of the things that is scaring me the most about 2011 is the fact that I graduate. I have spent a lot of time recently looking into Postgraduate study and considering doing a Masters before the fees properly rise/the world ends in 2012. Yes, I'm joking about the world ending, what a load of bollocks. I just hope that I am able to make it through this semester without killing somebody, or throwing a computer out the window. I have been sitting the past few days doing coursework and attempting a bit of revision but I just am not feeling the whole study-mode. I think it's cause I'm at home and when I'm back here It's like a holiday for me cause I don't live here permanently anymore.

Anyway, as well as graduation in 2011, I don't really know what else to be expecting. Of course I have entered into a new relationship of the romantic-type variety and I'm hoping that keeps blossoming into something nice. I also hope to keep my friends alongside me so that when my dissertation is going horrible, I can be all FUCKING DISSERTATIONS, HALP. That's all I really need them for. Yes, I'm kidding again. I love my friends to pieces. Also, my family, who provide a warm, food-filled house and bed at the weekends. As well as some quality entertainment when they learn waxing and decided to do it on each other. It's a female household, what can I say. I also love my cats who have been teh inspiration behind many a blog this year when my brain was lacking fuel of any other kind. I also, sadly lost one of them this year in the throws of an angry dog. While that wasn't a very fun time, she was a very old cat and while she didn't die peacefully, she is at least in peace now.

Moving on, I do have several projects lined up this year alongside a disseration, graduation and general life-figuring outness because well, I'm insane pretty much. Basically, they involve me doing things either once per day, or once per month and are things I've been thinking about doing either since last year or since I discovered my love of them and now I've finally decided, what the hell, why not. I can't promise I'll be any good at it, or even keep the momentum going but I'm sure as hell going to try.

Anyway, I've kept you in suspense long enough. So I am going to tell you only about one of them for today.

I have decided to participate in project365. Project 365 is basically a photography project where you take a photo for every single day of the year. I have a camera that hasn't seen much use and I have always been interested in photography and want to attempt to make use of the camera much more and hopefully I will learn new things by doing so. This kinda stemmed from a conversation with my father nonetheless who when we were talking about how there are no jobs and I've no idea what I'm going to do when I gradute, he reminded me of my old love for the old photo taking/poserness and said if I tried hard enough I could probably easily find something to do with that as a back-up plan. So Project 365 is kind of a way for me to take a handle on that side of things as well as document my life for a year, and an important year it will be nonetheless.

I have already started a profile on flickr featuring some of my old photos that I thought were in some way half decent and will upload more there throughout the year as well as one my project365 profile. Both of which you can find here and here. There is nothing on the 365 profile yet as it's not yet January 1st and I haven't taken any.

I am not going to tell you about my other project just yet because it depends on certain circumstances which are currently out of my hands but may be fixed within the next few days. I will keep you informed, of course.

So anyway, I wanted to post this blog to inform you that you can find me in other places on the interwebs this year, as well as facebook and twitter, or you can email me at samiandthecity@gmail.com.

Also, I failed at wishing you a Happy Christmas - I hope Santa was good to you - he was certainly good to me. So instead, I am here to wish you A Very Happy New Year. And I'll see you on the other side of midnight.

Love as always,
Sami
xo

On Writing and Music.

Hello folks,

I know it's been a while once again since I've posted and this time I don't really have an excuse because I havent been doing much of anything. Though I packed up and moved home for the Christmas break, almost got snowed in, almost fell on my arse at least 100 times and built a snowman. As well as hanging out with friends and seeing them before the holiday period truly begins.

Anyway, It's been at the back of my head all along saying 'BLOG WOMAN BLOG!' so here I am, a bit late in the evening but an update's an update so be happy about it! Moving on, what I want to talk about today is Writing. I'm an avid follower of a lot of people on Youtube, it's an amazing community of people who make music, write books, educate you on the environment and the sexual mating habits of random animals and other interesting things. There's also a whole community there dedicated to making Harry-Potter related music called Wrock which stands for Wizard-Rock. I am a big fan of Harry Potter and like most of the Wrock music but just the other day, one of the big bands called The Ministry of Magic released a new album and posted some of their songs on youtube with videos.

One song has particularly struck a chord with me and I haven't stopped listening to it basically since. If you're interested, click here and go listen! Anyway, this got me thinking about how amazing it is that people were so taken with a book that they wanted to make music about it. Similarly, there is Trock which is Time-lord Rock based on the Doctor Who series, which is also quite good. Listening to all this stuff and being able to relate to it, as a music fan and as a fan of the books made me want to write something amazing so taht one day someone will want to make music based on something I've written.

I mean the Nano Novel I wrote is a bit of a shambles at the minute, I haven't finished it yet but I know where it's going. However my inner editor is absolutely dying to get out and fix everything because as I've been writing it I've been like 'that is so stupid, it needs fixed' and now that the pressure of Nano is gone, I'm having to resist the urge to let the editor out with the red pen.

I know I'll get there eventually, it's just the timing of Christmas right after Nano makes everything twice as hard and twice as insane. But I'm determined to finish the novel before the new year so I have at least you know, 5 days before my exams start to study for them. Ahh flip sakes, the life of a final year student.

The other thing is that sometimes I feel that saying 'I want to be a writer' is a bit gay and then I start questionning myself about it and wondering if that is what I want to be because I don't write everyday and I don't seem to write anything I feel is good enough. You hear all the time that you should write everyday and I seem to be discovering more and more people that write poems or short stories and are amazing at it and I get a little discouraged about it all. I just don't know where it's going to take me, if anywhere and I don't really know what else I would like to do with my life.

Anyway, I mainly wanted to post about the music and writing correlation which seems to have turned into a bit of a rant! Anyway, please feel free to comment on anything and also what the hell should I blog about! I've had blogs for like 3 years and I'm running out of ideas for things :P

Sami
xox

NaNoWriMo and Life Updates.

I know, say what you want, I'm a bad blogger. But while you've been busy complaining about my lack of blogging, I've been writing a novel all month, so there :P. I finished earlier this evening with a current total of 50, 124 words. By all means, the story is not finished yet, it's barely even begun but I had to ramble on for 50k about something so shush :P. I am very pleased to have won this year as I failed last year and was more determined than ever to win again! I couldn't have done it without the help of the Nanoers in the All-Ireland chatroom as well as my housemate Jesse who was full of useful information about demons and other magical beings when my brain decided to die. So many thanks go out to all of you.

In other news, last time I blogged I said I had ticked off another thing on my 21 list. I have since ticked off a further one. Those two things, which I can happily tell you now are: Go on a date - On halloween night I went on a date. Suffice to say, things have worked out very well and I'm quite the happy chappy. The other one I've ticked off is getting a job. My dad knows an owner of a restaurant and they happened to be looking for staff and hence, I got a job. Which is another reason why I'm quite cheerful these days because there was a point during November where I couldn't afford to live and now I can. It's brilliant :).

November has been a bit of a mental month for me. The first two and a half weeks were full of stress due to coursework essays needing to be done and handed in. I had three to do, I got two done the first week and handed in and the second week when I was in the middle of doing my essay I recieved some bad news. My cat whom I've had since I was 3 was killed in the throws of an angry dog. This news was really upsetting and I was unable to focus on my essay for a while and ended up with an extension. I got it done eventually and was then able to come back to NaNo and end up where I am today. As well as these distractions, the two I mentioned above were quite good at distracting me at points but I through raw determination, I made it across the finish line and a day early too!

So there you go. I was waiting until I made it across the finish line to post about everything because I thought firing it all out in one go would be better than wasting time writing here when I could be writing NaNo. But I'm alive, I'm happy and I hopefully will post more often now that Novembers over and the crazy times have died down. Of course, don't hold me to that.

Hope things are well with all of you,
Sami
:)

NaNoWriMo and Other Non Important Stuff

Helllllo blogosphere.

I am not even going to bother explaining where I've been to be honest, you don't want to hear it and I don't want to type it. So on to the exciting stuff.

I've posted before about NaNoWriMo which stands for National Novel Writing Month for you newbs. The aim is to write 50 000 words in 30 days. No editing. Just write, write, write! Once you get the words down then you are good to go. It's insane and everyone who does it is a crazy fool, so since you're reading my blog, go go go: www.nanowrimo.org

Also, my own wordcount for Nano at the end of day one is 48. Lmao. I am in the process of writing still but I am having to work on coursework these first two weeks and its really important as it's my 3rd and final year. I know Nano will be on the backburner til I do that so unfortunately my count wont be as great for a while.

As for the other non important stuff. I hate coursework. I ticked off another one on my 21 list, but Ill let you guess what one that was. It is freaking colllllld. I like fireworks and I had an amazing Halloween weekend which I shall give you an update about eventually.

So yes. I just wanted to post about Nano really.

See yeeeee.

21 by 21: The Final

So I am now officially 21. I had a party at the weekend to celebrate and had a great time being surrounded by people I love and having a jolly old time together. Since my actual birthday was on a Monday, I had uni lectures but I spent the evening having a laugh and a few quieter drinks with more of my best friends. A lot of people have asked me why I didn't go out to celebrate but to be honest, I'd rather spend the time with my friends talking and laughing rather than screaming over loud music and trying to push past strangers all night.

Anyway, as you know it was my aim to complete a full set of 21 things by the time I turned 21. It is unforunate that I didn't get to complete the list in its entirety due to life constraints but I do feel like I accomplished things that I set out to do and so for your pleasure, here is the list. If the action is scored out it means I have completed that task. If I haven't, then there will be an explaination beside it as to why not.

1. Learn to Drive - This is due to the fact that I didn't have any money this summer to try and learn. However, I did purchase my provisional license and plan to start lessons soon.
   
2. Get a Job - Dear god, you all heard me rant and complain about the lack of employment over here so this one is no part of mine, i sent in at least 20 application forms and had 2 interviews and no one wants to hire me.
   
3. Be able to play Expert on Guitar Hero - Well, I was playing Guitar hero in my uni house then realised I wouldnt have it for the summer so never got to complete the game. I can play a healthy medium though. Stupid orange button.
   
4. Write something publishable - For me, writing takes time and effort and inspiration and I didn't have much of any of those, however, I do have a big story idea in research stages so hopefully something comes of that! :)
   
5. Make a new friend
6. Reconnect with an old friend
7. Read 50 Books (and subsequently, post the finished list here)
8. Make a photo album containing photos of friends and fun times.
9. Keep a notebook of quotes that I like that I have heard/read throughout the year.
10. Get another tattoo
11. Save £1000 - Again due to the lack of job and saving skills I have.
    
12. Visit another country
13. Get an O2 number
14. Master one recipe to perfection and post it as a blog!
15. Buy something from a designer label (Prada? Jimmy Choo?)
16. Go to a concert of a band I enjoy listening to.
17. Learn to speak a different language or how to play an instrument. - I think you should all let me away with this one considering I posted an Italian phrase of the day everyday for a month :P I do know a lot more italian than I did before. La bella donna!
    
18. Go on a proper date (like, for dinner, with a boy I like and whom likes me :P)- I just haven't found someone to complete this one with yet. I did actually have a date planned for last week but the guy postponed as he had something else to do but here's hoping I can complete this one soon!
    
19. Have a spa day with someone.- This was again due to the lack of funds. But I do want to got to the spa with a friend and have a massage and stuff!
    
20. Try and have a successful blog with readers that comment (who are more than just my personal friends and family).
21. Fall in Love (Here's hoping!) - Well, I knew this one was unrealistic when I wrote down. I can't just put a time limit on love and expect it to happen. However, while I may not have found a lover to love, I found and made plenty of friends and family whom I love dearly and wouldn't be able to survive without. So this is for them.

So there you have it. I did just about half of my intended things to do but as you can see life got in the way a lot of the time and I was just unable to compelte them unfortunately. But here's hoping I can complete them in due course. By christmas maybe? Hmm, should I give myself a "10 Things by the 10th day of christmas?" Or something? What do you think?

Thanks for sticking around and keep coming back for more future husband letters and general sami-rants about life.

Sami

50 Books List

Hey guys,

As part of my 21 by 21 list, I had to read 50 books and post the finished list on the blog. Since I'm about to post the final results of my list, I'm putting my complete list of 50 books in a different post. So here you go, the 50 books I read!


1. Tempted by P.C. and Kristin Cast
2. The Book Of Tomorrow By Ceceila Ahern
3. Perfect Fifths By Megan McCafferty
4. Blue Bloods by Melissa De La Cruz
5. Looking for Alaska By John Green
6. Destinations by Sheila O'Flanagan
7. Masquerade by Melissa De La Cruz
8. Revelations by Melissa De La Cruz
9. The Van Alen Legacy by Melissa De La Cruz
10. Will Grayson, Will Grayson By John Green and David Levaithian
11. Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K Hamilton
12. Burned by P.C. and Kirsten Cast
13. The Laughing Corpse by Laurell K Hamilton
14. Ash by Malinda Lo
15. Circus of the Damned by Laurell K Hamilton
16. Paper Towns by John Green
17. Tithe by Holly Black
18. Alice in the country of Hearts 1 by Soumei Hoshino and Quinrose.
19. Simple Wishes by Lisa Dale
20. The Lunatic Cafe by Laurell K Hamilton
21. Bloody Bones by Laurell K Hamilton
22. Need by Carrie Jones
23. Captivate by Carrie Jones
24. Burnt Offerings By Laurell K Hamilton
25. Blue Moon by Laurell K Hamilton
26. Obsidian Butterfly by Laurell K Hamilton
27. Narcissus In Chains by Laurell K Hamilton
28. Cerulean Sins by Laurell K Hamilton
29. Incubus Dreams by Laurell K Hamilton
30. Danse Macabre by Laurell K Hamilton
31. The Harlequin by Laurell K Hamilton
32. Blood Noir by Laurell K Hamilton
33. Skin Trade By Laurell K Hamilton
34. Flirt by Laurell K Hamilton
35. Bullet by Laurell K Hamilton
36. Evernight by Claudia Gray
37. All The Things We Didn't Say By Sara Shepard
38. Young, loaded and fabulous by Kate Kingsley
39. The Good Divorce Guide By Cristina Odone
40. Micah and Strange Candy by Laurell K Hamilton
41. Breaking the Rules: Confessions of a Bad Girl by Cahterine Townsend
42. The Dirty Bits for Girls By India Knight
43. Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell
44. The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell
45. The Sound of No Hands Clapping by Toby Young.
46. Gardens of Delight by Erica James
47. The Wedding Day by Catherine Alliott
48. Madam by Jenny Angell
49. A Scanner Darkly by Phillip K Dick
50. The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

I knew I'd be able to complete this list as I am an avid reader of literature and enjoy reading and loosing myself in different worlds. So yes, onto the final list!

Sami

Post 50: Number 14/21

As many of you are aware, I started this blog and posted a list of 21 things I'd like to do by the time I was 21. I turn 21 tomorrow, ahh. You can view this post, here. Number 14 on that list states

14. Master one recipe to perfection and post it as a blog

I intend to post this recipe here today. And the recipe is for the infamous Whoopie Pies which I have stuffed myself on this past summer and I'm sure you've seen the pictures on facebook or at least heard me talk about them. So here we go.

Chocolate Whoopie Pies with Strawberry Marshmallow Buttercream

Ingredients

2pack chocolate sponge mix
2 eggs Water
Marshmallows
Butter
Icing sugar
Strawberry flavouring
Pink food colouring
Sprinkles
Milk

Tools
Greaseproof paper
Baking tray
Bowls
Electric mixer
Spoons
Pots

What to do.
1. Put the greaseproof paper on the baking tray.
2. Make up the chocolate sponge mix using the eggs, water and mix itself.
3. Once the mix is made up then put one tsp of the mix on the greaseproof paper and try and form it into a perfect circle. Continue this step til all the mix is made up and you have several circles of the mix.
4. Put it in the oven.
5. While the mix is in the oven, melt the marshmallows in a pot with milk.
6. Once the marshmallows have melted then add them to the softened butter.
7. Add the strawberry flavouring and pink food colouring to this mix.
8. Take the sponge mix out of the oven and leave to cool.
9. Once the chocolate sponge has cooled, put a spoon full of the marshmallow cream onto one, then top with another chocolate sponge.
10. Continue number 9 until all cream and chocolate sponges have been used up, essentially making a pie shape.
11. Make up the icing sugar and add the pink colouring and flavouring to the icing sugar.
12. Top the whoopie pies with the icing sugar and add sprinkles.

Then NOM NOM NOM. For reference, here is a picture of the whoopie pies.

So there you go, I hope you enjoy baking and eating them. I might go make some myself :)

Also, expect another update possibly tomorrow or tuesday about how many things on my 21 list I completed since I will officially be 21 tomorrow!

Sami

A Month In Reflection

Today blog readers marks the end of Blog Everyday August (BEDA) and though it hasn't been a very exciting month, blogging gave me something to do with my day when things got boring.

I don't know if you've enjoyed reading this, but there have been comments here and there and from the Statistics I presume that you have but you're too lazy to comment. Regardless of your laziness I just want to thank you for even taking the time to read my blog and the inane ramblings I put out from day to day, it does mean something to me that people take the time to read it, so thanks and I hope that you will continue to follow me throughout the next while as more future husband letters are due and September is sure to be more exciting and I'll be around in November during NaNoWriMo.

This month you've learnt 10 rules for being human, amusing things about cats, things I have done and regret doing, you've learnt about books I enjoy reading and read a short story I wrote (Which has now become a fully fledged novel in my head, writing to be done when my laptop charger arrives as my research is on there). You've read a future husband letter and learnt about the statistics that you make up. And you also received a post that probably didn't make sense to any of you, but was more for my own benefit of getting how I felt out there. You've heard about my hardships of trying to find a job and clicked on links when I was too lazy myself to write blogs.

So in reflection, it hasn't been a bad month, just not very exciting. Tomorrow is September 1st, I have plans to enroll for my 3rd year of Uni and to see a friend who has been on holiday. Following that my temporary employment on 6th September as a tour guide will take place and then I fly out to England for my lovely friend Becca's Wedding and back again on the 12th where I have a family dinner for my birthday. The weekend after that I have my birthday party with friends to attend and then University starts. So it seems that I should have BEDS (Blogged Everyday September) instead as September holds way more plans than August ever did.

But, well it's a bit late now, August is done and over with and this is my last post for a while. So I'm going to leave you with a quote that has been relevant to this past month and will continue to be in the future so take heed and I hope to see you in September! Here's the quote:

"Everyday may not be good, but there's something good in everyday."

Carp.

So It's a bank holiday Monday and really bank holidays I think are kind of pointless, everything shuts down (well some of it) and you just laze about, its like an extra sunday for no reason.

Today I slept, ate, hung out with some friends, bought a mens leather belt for £1 as I apparantley dont fit into any jeans in existence without them falling down, had a BBQ and thats about it.

When I asked people for blog topic suggestions I got one crude attempt, one about how I should talk about the end of summer, one about how the bird is the word (no it really isnt and family guy sucks) and another about things that annoy me. So I decided I'd blog about all of htem in one of those random bullet point posts that make no sense. So here we go.

1. For me, Summer doesnt really end until mid-September around my birthday and appropriately, this year actually on my birthday is when classes start again, which is sucky but life goes on. So to be honest, while the weather might die down a bit now (who am I kidding, it never picked up, it's Northern Ireland), it technically isnt the end of summer.
2. The bird is not the word. The bird is a bird. It has wings and flies and will eat you for calling it a word, kthanxbye.
3. If I were to list everything that annoyed me here, the list would go on forever, so in order to shorten it here are a few things that annoy my life: the words 'hehe', when people stick their nose in your business when it isnt wanted, when people think they are funny but really arent, people who use and abuse your hospitality and kindness, people who blame other people for quite clearly, their mistakes.

So yeah, Im off now to do stuff like sleep and abuse facebook some more. Since this post was crap, go read this amazing graduation speech from JK Rowling, she's awesome.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Statistics

Since there is nothing interesting for me to blog about because it's Sunday and nothing ever really happens on Sundays anyway, I thought I'd let you in on a little secret.

I have a plugin installed on this blog called Google Analytics. What that plugin basically does is tell me how many visitors I have had on the site today, what country they are from and how long they spend on the site reading my posts. It's actually quite a useful thing.

So I thought I'd share with you some statistics about my blog, since you are the ones reading and providing me with this information.

On July 31st I had 0 visitors, that was the day before BEDA started. On day one of Beda I went from 0 visitors to 13. How amazing is that? Throughout the month of August and since I've been doing Beda the lowest amount of visitors was 6 that was on Wednesday when I wrote my One Confession. That's ironically funny.

In total since I started this blog I have had 445 visitors from 9 countries. Most of them are from the United Kingdom closely followed by the USA. Other countries I have visits from include Sweden, South Korea, France, India and Canada. It's weird to think that people all the way across the world are reading what I have to say. If you are reading this, then thank you! And I hope you keep reading!

The average amount of time you will spend reading my blog per visit is 2mins and 44seconds and most of you come from referring sites such as facebook and twitter (probably because I link the blog on those sites myself).

And my most popular post is this one, when I posted six things I wish I had never done. I guess you guys are interested in the things I have done and why I wish I hadn't done them, eh? :P.

So there you have it, 445 visitors in one month from 9 territories and an average of 2minutes spent reading.

If you have happened to read my blog everyday this month then thank you and I hope you will continue to read my blog even when BEDA stops and I post a little less frequently.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

It's That Time Of Year Again.

It's that time of year again.

The one where the nights get dark and cold way early and you stick the lights and heating on as soon as you can. You climb into your woolly jammies and make hot chocolate and bring the blankets down and watch a movie.

And if you dare to adventure outside, it's that time of year where you wear a thick coat,a hat, a scarf, boots, maybe some gloves. It's not entirely winter, but the ground is thick with leaves of various different colours and sometimes you will feel good and you'll kick them up and dance about and others you will feel too cold and run for the door and the house and the safety and comfort of warmth and light.

It's that time of year again, where after messing about doing absolutely nothing all summer, things go back to normal and you have to get serious and knuckle down and do your work, so that come summer, you can afford to mess about and do nothing again. It's that serious, stressful time of year again where you might feel tired and cold and cant be bothered, but you have to be.

Mainly though, it's that time of year again that makes you nostalgic. Nostalgic for that time you watched the fireworks together. For that time where he gave you his jacket because you didn't wear one because you were trying to impress him with a nice outfit but forgot that it would be freezing. It's that time of year again where all the memories from all those years ago come flooding back.

It's that time of year again, where you wish that things hadn't changed so dramatically, or that at least you could be friends again. That time of year, when you dream about those times you shared together and wished you could be back there, young and innocent and in love with not really a care in the world, apart from for him, for you, for the two of you together.

It's that time of year again where you will look at the pictures and watch the videos of you two together and then you will cry about how he broke your heart and how you will never really be the same again. How you will never really be over him and how you still love and hate him at exactly the same time. And how it was easier when you didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Where ignorance truly was bliss.

But then after that time of year again, will come the next time of year, when once you've done all that, you'll remember the life you have now. And when you've watched the videos and had your cry, you will run into your best friends bedroom and tell her about him even though shes heard it a million times. And she will tell you that it's okay to be sad, because it's that time of year again. But if you didn't do the things you did after him, you wouldn't know her, or be where you are now. And then you'll smile and say 'Yeah I guess' and you'll go to bed and lie awake all night thinking about him.

And then come morning, after having not slept, you will sigh, get out of bed, make two cups of tea, take one to your best friend and crawl into bed beside her and forget about him and remember that it's that time of year again and that's okay. But you are in a better place now and that place contains loads of friends and family who care about you and whom you care about. And it contains places and fun times and new memories that you cherish just as much as the old ones. So you will drink your tea and forget about him and that it's that time of year again, because now, this new life, these new people and places are better than those old ones, they help move you forward in life.

And moving forward in life is what it's all about. Some people will come with you and others will stay in that time of year again and you will remember them when you feel the chill of the air, when you put on your thick coat and your hat and scarf and boots and gloves. But you will smile and laugh and climb on the bus and move forward.

Because even though it's that time of year again, you want to move forward and not back. Forward gives you more chances to be who you are, to meet somebody new and maybe next year, you will have better old memories. And though you won't forget about him, that time of year again won't always remind you of him. It will remind you of that crazy party you went to dressed as a mermaid and how you drank too much and had so much fun that you didn't even realise that it was that time of year again.

So forget about it and move forward. Your life is better now even if it is that time of year again.

Don't Tell Me I'm Not Trying.

As you all know, I am currently unemployed and I've been trying all summer to try and find a job. That's 4 months of job hunting, filling out application forms and sending my CV in to so many places and being unsuccessful. The unemployment level in Northern Ireland is so high that every time a job offer opens, around 600 people apply for it.

The BBC even did a report on the unemployment level in Northern Ireland in early July of this year, one of the months in which I was hunting, which you read here.

However, it has come to my attention that several people are calling me "unemployable" and telling me that I am not trying hard enough to find a job. Well, let me tell you something my friends. I applied for Primark, I was application number 426 and the applications were still open for another week. Ikea Belfast had recruitment for 3-5 positions and they had 600 applications and it was open for another week. I have applied for every job that I meet the requirements for.

So don't tell me I'm not trying because I am. Don't tell me I'm unemployable, because I am. The level of unemployment is so high that even those most qualified to do the jobs they are applying for aren't being employed. And to further enhance my point, I have created a list of all the jobs I have applied for this summer.

• B and M Bargains (twice)
• Quiz
• D2
• New Look
• Pizza Hut
• Poundstretcher
• Imaging Solutions
• Charco Grill
• Summer Scheme
• Editor and Dragonfly Boutique
• Tescos
• Monsoon
• Accessorize
• Delaneys
• Clinton Cards
• Argos
• Primark
• Diamond and Pearls
• TK Maxx
• Debenhams
• A bed and breakfast (name undisclosed for privacy reasons)

Out of that list, I have had 2 interviews and was rejected from both of them. Most of them didn't even bother their backsides to reject me in the first place. Employers are able to be fussy and pick those who meet the requirements solidly rather than give those who maybe fail on one department a chance. There are other stores that I am applying to in the next week also, so add another 2 to the list and whatever else may pop up between now and then.

So there you go. I am trying my hardest and I am employable, it's just that the level is too fucking high for anyone to want me. Do you think it's easy surviving a 4 month summer with no money? Do you think I want to live like this? No, I don't. So don't tell me I'm not trying, because I am.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Future Husband Series: Letter 3.

Dear Future Husband,

I hope you enjoyed my ten days of stuff that you will need to know obviously, ha. Sorry I havent written sooner but I am exhausted and I have no idea where to go with these letters anymore. Starting them was a good idea at the time but in the long run, what am I supposed to tell you?

I still haven't got myself a job (more about that tomorrow folks ;) but I do have temporary employment for a day where I do get paid for my services. It's nothing dirty either you brats. It's being a tour guide for a day :).

So Husband. We're married and stuff. I hope life has treated us well. Now, did we have a good wedding? Because if we arent married yet and you are reading this, then here's what we should do:

- Not sign any big particular certificate, or have a minister or exchange of vows.
- Buy ourselves some nice outfits
- Send out invitations for a reception.
- Have one big partay instead of a traditional wedding were we tell people we are married, but on paper we arent really.
- Buy me a nice ring and vice versa
- Spend as little money as possible on this reception and use the rest for a fantastic holiday somewhere fancy, just us two. We'll call it the "honeymoon".

Yeah, sounds good. I hate all the fancy minister fussy stuff. 50& of marriages end in divorce anyway. So if, further along the line we want to get metaphorically divorced since we're metaphorically married, then it wont cost us ten bazillion bucks and we'll be able to just say "that was good" and move on as easy and painless as possible. Agreed? Good boy *patsonhead* :P

Well Metaphorical-Future-Husband, I'm off now to do something or other with my life. Probably sleep, or eat, or something.

Until next time,
Love always,
Metaphorical-Future-Wife

One Confession.

So today is the last day of stuff as I so aptly named it, 10 days ago. I can't quite believe 10 days have passed already but I'm glad that they have. So now I have to confess one thing and I have absolutely no idea right now what to tell you. But here is what I have managed to come up with.

1. My confession is that I hate confessions. Seriously. I've spent a day and a half trying to come up with something interesting to confess to you all and fail. This is probably due to the fact that I am also exhausted because I havent slept in 3 days. Thats a confession too. So there you go. Confessions suck. Now go read something else!

Until tomorrow
Sami

Amusingthingsjessedoes = misses a step on the stair and nearly falls down on top of me.

Two Smileys.

Today's thing of stuff is two smileys that describe my life right now, so here we go:

1. :) - I am happy today as I have a form of employment, I have my house back and I've plenty of things to look forward too. Including travelling to England, my 21st birthday and my laptop in perfect working order and the start up of Uni again.

2. :S - I am gonna go ahead and say this is the worried face. I am worried because I am always worried. Haha. But general worries like, can I afford this, will I be good at that, travelling alone and what it will be like and hoping everything works out okay for the rest of the people in my life too.

So there you go, tomorrow is the last day of stuff so blogging shall return to normal as BEDA approaches its unfortunate end.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian = fuck it, I cba anymore, I know, I fail.

Three Turn Ons.

1. Wear a suit. Yep. My friends will tell you about the way I react to men in suits. Even if we're in a library.

2. Eyes. If you have really nice eyes, like deep brown or bright blue, I will like you.

3. Intelligence. I like it when you are smart, or that you dont mind sitting down and reading a book. It gives us something to talk about and connect on.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Amusingthingmycatdoesoftheday = Drinks the water from the glass on my bedside table, that was for me. Frickin cats.

Four Turn Offs

1. Arrogance. It's okay to have self-belief and self-respect but to be cocky and arrogant and think your God's gift is just one big turn off for me.

2. Smoking. I've kissed a few smokers, I'll admit but smoking is the one thing that makes my blood boil, I just hate it. So no.

3. Violence, If you like hitting people for fun or whatever, that's not cool. It could go wrong one day. So not putting up with that shit.

4. Immaturity. So they say that women mature 8 years faster than men, but that's no excuse. You are an adult now, so wise the fuck up and start acting like one. It's okay to act childish and have fun sometimes but when it comes down to being a man, just be one and stop acting like an idiot. Kthanxbye.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Five People Who Mean A Lot.

1. My Mum

2. My Granny and Granda (they count as one cause they're married :P)

3. Jesse

4. The Gays (this includes: leslie, david, aj etc)

5. Becca :)

Of course, the rest of you also mean a lot to me, but I had to pick five and technically I've written at least 8, I hate choosing :P.

Also, I am sick and sleep-deprived today so stuff the Italian. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Until then,
Sami
xox

Six Things I Wish I'd Never Done.

1. Sent that one letter that ruined everything.

2. Kissed that one guy who was also kissing everybody else.

3. Said I wasn't annoyed when I was. It probably could have changed a whole lot of things.

4. Liked the wrong guy on more than one occasion.

5. Gotten incredibly drunk and not remembered anything.

6. Let people come between me and my friends. Also on more than one occasion.

Actually there's a lot of things I wish I'd never done now that I've taken the time to think about it, but this 6 will do.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Vuoi bere qualcosa? = Do you fancy a drink?

Seven Things I Think About A Lot.

1. Money. I neeed money to survive.

2. Job. I need a job to get money to survive.

3. Uni. I can't wait to get back there and Im wondering what modules to choose. And Im hoping I graduate with my desired grade.

4. Food. I bes hungry, where's my dinner?! :P

5. General worries such as I need a haircut, I wonder who will hire me, Will I be able to afford things?

6. Stress. Im one of those people who stress about every little thing for no reason.

7. Health. Why is that body part painful? Why do I feel sick etc.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Mia Figlia = My daughter

Eight Ways To Win My Heart

1. Wear a Suit. Men in suits are sexy.

2. Have respect for yourself. Then for me and the people in my life that you will meet.

3. Have some sort of intelligence. Be smart and have a niche that you can talk/teach me about.

4. Be able to laugh at yourself and take a joke. I hate arrogance.

5. Be able to go off with your friends and let me go off with mine. Clingyness can be annoying.

6. Like animals. Most especially cats. Because you'll find where I am, there'll be a cat.

7. Buy me something nice. It doesnt have to be a big thing. Take me out for a day and buy me a cupcake. It'll be sweet that you thought of it.

8. Be able to sit down and watch girly movies or tv programmes with me without moaning about how its "so gay" or "shite" or "really girly". I'll watch your manly movies with you too. So Deal!

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = FAIL.

Nine Things About Yourself.

Yesterday's post came across as better than expected and I'm glad. It was funny watching some of you guess who was on that list and what number they were. So thank you for being nice about it. Today's list is 9 things about myself and I'm posting early because I'm meeting my best friend in town and we're going to the cinema afterwards so I'll be late back. Oh and also, I know you're reading, analytics tells me so. So comment you tards. Tell me 9 things about yourself or something!

1. I am a cat person. I own 4 cats and 1 dog. And as much as I love Bailey, I am definitely a cat person. Im probably going to be an old cat spinster.

2. I love tea! I drink more of it than anything else. Though Im trying to drink more water.

3. I am part of a community called nerdfighteria. It's basically a community of nerdy people who follow vlogbrothers and other youtubers. See here for more.

4. I love New York City even though Ive only been once. Its just amazing!

5. I have a knack for finding the sexiest shoes in existence. And then proceeding to buy them and never wear them.

6. Being a uni student, we drink a lot of alcohol. Except now that it's summer, I havent been drinking all that much and thinking about it is making me feel sorta ill! Apart from my birthday, that's acceptable. Haha.

7. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life and I graduate next June.

8. I am coming to terms with the fact that I have a curvy plus-size body. I think I've kinda accepted thats the way Im supposed to be and that's okay.

9. I love cupcakes. I've eaten at least one cupcake from every available cupcakery in Belfast that I can find!

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Lavora? = Do you work?

Ten Days Of Stuff.

Since I'm in this beda thing for the long haul and I keep running out of things to write about, I've decided to steal this "tumblr challenge" and just turn it into a blog challenge instead. I found it on my friend Smaches tumblr and though it was quite fun/good idea. So for the next ten days this is what you can expect:

Day One: ten things you want to say to ten different people.
Day Two: nine things about yourself.
Day Three: eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: five people who mean a lot.
Day Seven: four turn offs.
Day Eight: three turn ons.
Day Nine: two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: one confession

And since today is day one, here are my Ten things I want to say to 10 different people. Also, as a warning, don't go presuming any of these are about you unless I tell you otherwise because I swear to god the amount of people who presume these things are about them is unreal and then they go causing chaos where chaos is not needed or infact wanted. So if you think it's about you and you desperately wish to know, then fucking ask me and don't go bitching about it to everybody else or on facebook. I will see it and I will slap you. Kay, on with it.

1. I wish we could talk more. I don't know why we don't really, you're always right there, but neither of us ever say anything.

2. I can't wait to meet you! I'm looking forward to it :)

3. I can't wait to see you again, it's only been like 4 years! Woah.

4. You're kinda like a brother to me, I think we're quite close and I hope you think so too. And If you don't come back, I may have to hunt you down and slap you about until you decide that you should come back, or maybe I'll just set my bff on you, I know you'll love that!!

5. I like you man, but you really get on my tits sometimes. You kinda need to grow up a bit and then I'll like you more :P.

6. I like you and I wish you'd get more confidence because it would greaten your life immensely! Also, I hope you come and socialise with me soon and also at my bday because I know you like alcohol and there will be plenty of it and then you can meet my friends and you might even enjoy yourself :O!!

7. I loveeee youuuuu and our little mishaps and adventures!!

8. I like you, I do but it's hard for me to do so when everybody else I know dislikes you. You're smart but sometimes you don't think about things you say and how they can affect others and that's when you start saying things that fuck me right off. You're lucky we've stayed friends this long.

9. I hate when you say "hehe", I hate when anybody says "hehe", it's the one saying that gets right on my nerves. Also, I wish you realised that you are beautiful and stopped hating on yourself so much. Fuck everybody else and what they think, you've got your friends and family and they are all that matters, kay?

10. You are the only one who can change your life darling, stop complaining and make an effort, I bet you'd feel 100% happier if you tried just a little.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day: Mi scusi = I'm sorry, excuse me!

I Don't Feel Like Blogging

Today I:

- Was roped into helping out at my sister's work as it was their first birthday.

- This involved attempting to put up a tesco value gazebo, but the man helping us was complaining too much about not having instructions and didn't listen when we tried to explain so we ended up with a shoddy looking piece of crap for a gazebo which they didnt bother to use for very long.

- This also involved, sitting on the tiniest chair ever selling sweets to 5million children and ending up with a sore arse with an extra dislike of children on the side.

- I was high-fived by Leo the Lion (the workplaces representative).

- I was asked why I wasn't having kids yet - because I'm still 20 and can't find a decent enough man/I don't like/want kids anyway, you fool.

- I was told that I'd be next in line for marriage out of several of my friends. What is with you people today? Marriage and kids, no thank you.

- I was tagged in several embarassing photos on facebook courtesy of my mother, yet I did not detag myself because unlike others, I am not really all that ashamed or embarassed by them. They're the best of a bad bunch. Deal.

- I finished two books. One I had started reading the other day and was incredibly weird and depressing. The other was more upbeat and fun. (Now I have read 38/50).

- I couldn't be arsed to blog about anything truly worthwhile so instead you got this list of bullet points of crap that happened to me today.

- I think you should comment with a) what you did today and b) Things you'd like me to blog about.

- It is now almost 7-days til I get my University house back, cannoooooot wait.

- I didn't bother my arse learning any Italian so you aren't getting an Italian phrase of the day. Instead you can have a quote of the day courtesy of a quote website, somewhere, I think.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Quote of the day= “A heartbreak isn’t always as loud as a bomb exploding. Sometimes, it could be as quiet as a feather falling and the most painful thing is, nobody hears it but you."

How To Be Alone

Im not going to write much today. I discovered a youtube video yesterday that is touching and inspiring and I want to share it with you, it's entitled "How to Be Alone". I'm posting the transcript below, but if you want to watch the video (which Id recommend) then Click Here.

How To Be Alone By Tanya Davis
If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Dove abita? = Where do you live?

Sunshine and Shooting Stars

I'm guessing many of you went out last night to watch the Persids meteors and shooting stars. I didn't get a chance last night but they are still going so we're going out tonight to see them, so woot for that. I remember watching them this time last year with some friends n family, it was cool :). Make a wish!

Today was a good day as I travelled down to my beloved countryside for a job interview, which was the good news I recieved the other day. Nothing came of the interview I had last week but awk well, I'm hoping this one produces better results. Travelling takes a lot out of you sometimes but after about 2 years of doing so I think Im pretty much used to it.

So apart from enjoying the sunshine today, travelling, having a job interview and then lounging about this evening, Im going star hunting tonight. So I dont really have much to blog about but today I have a question for you readers, so please answer, it's important ;).

If you could choose to be an angel or a demon, what would you be? And what powers would you wield? Do you have a angel/name you'd like to be called?

Use your imaginations people,
Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day= Ciao, Bella! = Hi, beautiful!

International Youth Day

Today, August 12th, is International Youth Day and I wanted to share some of my knowledge and experiences about youth and young people.

Youth is actually defined as those aged between 12 and 25 but most people see youth as the loitering louts that wield knives on the streets and like to stab people to death. There is very little good things reported in the news to do with young people which is totally unfair because I know, myself, as young person, that there is a lot of good that young people participate in.

I know this because I was lucky enough in my life to experience not one but two youth clubs which provided me with support and friends and experiences that have influenced and made me the person I am today. For example, One of the groups I participated in organised an exchange event with a german youth group and we got to go to Berlin to meet them and attend one of their festivals, they then came here and we taught them about Northern Ireland, we even made a video touring them round our part of the city. We also organised a formal for the youth of our part of the city where we invited all the youth groups and even individuals to come and participate and we gave out awards to those who we felt were deserving of them.

And then there is the fact that at least 5 young people I know give up their summers to volunteer at their local community centre and take other peoples kids out on day trips. None of this good stuff that young people are doing is ever reported in the news and it's unfair because if half the people were aware of what is on offer to them, then they wouldnt have to end up wielding knives on teh streets to feel safe and protect themselves.

I grew up in my local community centre, moving from the mothers and toddlers group straight through to the youth club. I made some of my current friends there and we'll be friends for life (I hope!) and I even found my first love there and while that involved plenty of petty fights and drama, it was nothing newsworthy, just part of life. I'm not saying that it's all good, because you will have to listen to drugs and drink talks and you will have to do personal social care stuff but it's worth taht one night of opening up to your friends and maybe admitting things you don't really want to talk about to recieve all the good in return.

So, if you're young enough and there are local groups near you then I highly recommend that you go and join them. It's worth all of the fear and nervousness you feel right now. You'll have experiences and make friends so easily and it will help you as well for stuff to put on your C.V saying you know how to work as a team with other members of your group. So go. Celebrate the fact that you are a young person and enjoy it.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of teh day= Ciao, bello! = Hi, Handsome!

I know, I'm a bit late.

I'm glad some of you liked my short story yesterday though your lack of comments is still annoying. I know it takes you about 5 seconds to write one and it takes me about 30 mins to write a blog, so if I can do it, then so can you. Come onnn guys. I'll make you a cookie.

Today I spent out of the house with my bff Jesse shopping in town. When I say shopping, she spent the money because she has a job and I walked around looking at all the pretty things I couldn't afford. Though Jesse did buy me some nice things and I owe her. I love that woman :D. I then went grocery shopping with my father. So really, nothing of blogworthy note to record today. So on that note, I'm going to steal the idea from Hayley G Hoover (link in the sidebar, shes awesome) and just tell you what my senses sensed today.

Today, I saw: Lots of pretty dresses and sexy shoes.
Today, I heard: Laughter and coffee machines
Today, I smelled: Freshly made cupcakes and coffee.
Today, I touched: Lots of lovely material of the pretty dresses I saw.
Today, I tasted: A chocolate orange cupcake and a white caffe mocha.

So yes. Fun times.
Until tomorrow
Sami

Italian phrase of the day= Io sonno basso = I am short. (I think)

A short story.

Yesterday when I posted the link to my blog on facebook, I wrote "demons and stuff" and the title "the devil of desire" was a bit misleading I guess and a few of you were disappointed, expecting something more exciting. So I decided that I would write a story involving "The devil of desire". This is about a boy whos in school when she appears. So, enjoy.

She was beautiful. I swear she was.

I only caught a glimmer of her, I was too scared to come out from where I was hiding.

I know the irony of that sentence. But beauty can be scary at the best of times.

I am not sure what I expected the devil of desire to be, perhaps the word devil threw me off. When you think devil, you think, pure red body, horns sticking out of the top of their head, ugly face and just not pleasant to be around.

No, not this devil. She was beautiful.

She had long wavy chocolate brown hair that seem to be endless, though I am sure it stopped somewhere. Her eyes were big and bright and a light hazelnut brown. She had a seductive stare. She had a thin, petite and pale figure, but it somehow was beautifully fitting for her. You could trace her neckline and shoulders and her curves with your fingertips so easily. She looked seductive and fragile and yet her presence was so commanding, you couldn't help but stare at her.

Her voice was soft and seductive as if she promised all your sexual desires to come true with her voice. All she had to do was stare and say what she wanted from you and you would do it, you would do it for one night in her bed, with her. She made you want her. She made you want to do her bidding, no matter how evil or heartachingly awful it would be.

She wore a silk green dress with black trimmings that ended just above her knees and drew your attention to her pale white legs and down to her shoes. They were black lace high heels with a hint of the green from her dress. You could imagine her prancing around the bedroom in them, making you watch her as she went about doing what she did best, fulfilling your desires. She had yet to fulfill any of mine, though seeing her before my very own eyes had probably set the wheels in motion. It was her talent, I guess, if you didn't already desire her, to make you do so. I pity the man who attempts to fend her off also, more fool him.

I cannot remember why she appeared that night, I just remember everyone screaming and running and hiding, as if they knew not to meet her gaze, or watch her, or anything. But she had entranced a few of us and I was one of them, she had only appeared for a moment, twirling and dancing her way around the room trying to find what she had came for. A few of my peers tried to stop her but they simply fell at her feet. When she had found her prize, a big, dusty old book, she danced her way to the spot she had appeared from, she twirled around gracefully in her heels, with the book in her hands and spoke,

"I am T'an-mo" she paused, "And you will desire me".

With that, she disppeared, leaving behind a puff of green smoke and a perfume of fresh flowers.

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day= Io sonno una bambina = I am a girl.

The Devil of Desire

I had a productive day today which is suprising since I expected to fall into my be-lazy routine since the summer scheme ended. I did sleep until like 1pm because my brain wouldn't quiet down til 3am last night. But I got up, had some tea and digestive biscuits (two buttered together) and then I recieved a phonecall with some good news (to be explained at a further date).

The phonecall put me in such a good mood, so I got into the shower and got ready and tidied up my room (which apparantley is shocking news). I also managed to make arrangements to see some friends and I even sorted out student finance for the upcoming uni year (i did have it half done but needed another ref number which I couldnt find). I also got to speak to my friend Becca whose wedding Im going to be in 4 weeks and 4ish days (shes counting..) lol.

I also downloaded ellie goulding's album, I have liked all her releases so far and thought it'd be worth a listen while I tidied up. I quite like it so I think Ill keep my eye on her releases and stuff for a while :).

So though it hasnt been a very exciting day, it has been productive for me. How was your day?

Also, I took a quiz late last night which was called "What is your demon name?" - I know it's a bit gay but that's what boredem does to you. My demon name is T'an-mo which is the name of The Devil of Desire. Bloody typical me I think most of you would agree :P.

Until tomorrow!
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Io non sonno l'uomo. Io sonno donna. = I am not a man. I am a woman.

Team Anita.

As I mentioned the other day, I was engrossed in a book. That book was one of the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series. My best friend and housemate introduced me to the series after we took a notion for vampire books (yes that includes twilight, but others such as the house of night and blue bloods series :P). She had read this series long before Twilight ever hit the shelves and for a year went on about how it was so much better. So when I told her I intended to read 50 books this year, she suggested I read the series cause there is like 20. So I agreed.

I actually started this attempt in November but life was too hectic back then for me to actually get into the series. But when I finally had the time to sit down and read the books I actually took a great liking for them. I couldn't wait for her to give me them all so I could get through the entire series. And I agree with her that they are much better than Twilight. Yes they have vampires and werewolves as you cant have one without the other, but it is much better written and involves other wereanimals and things that you wouldn't believe.

It's violent and sexy at the same time and Laurell K Hamilton is an amazing author, so my respect goes out to her. I have now finished the series (well until another book is released) and I cant wait for the next one! I am actually quite sad that I have to put the books down and read another 15 different ones to complete my list haha. I just wanted to tell you guys about it and start spreading the word because it's actually very good and definitely a worthwhile read. I will say this though, it isn't for the faint-hearted or the squeamish or the prudes. It does involve a lot of grusome descriptions and a hell of a lot of sexy steamy scenes. So if it sounds like your cup of tea, then the first book in the series is called Guilty Pleasures and it's by Laurell K Hamilton.

So yes. That's all I wanted to share today. As a bit of an avid-reader (at the best of times) I wanted to pass on my knowledge to you other bookaholics. You'll thank me later! Enjoy!

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Arrivederci = Goodbye.
p.s. COMMENT RAWR.

Amusing Things My Cat Does.

I am an absolutely shite blogger atm, my life is so boring that there isnt actually a singular thing my day that is blog-worthy right now. Upon researching "things to blog about" I was told, make a list, write about your favourite this, that or the other. And all sorts of silly things, so today I am going to make a list of things that my cats do and since I've got four, this could be a long list.

1. When I open a packet of crisps, she comes and sits on my lap until I give her one, or tries to snatch it out of my hand.
2. Sits in the sink and meows at me until I turn the tap on so she can drink the running water.
3. An alternative to the sink water is to dip her paw into a glass of water I have and lick it from her paw.
4. Follows me about the house when she wants attention.
5. Squeaks and runs away when you say their name.
6. Goes into the attic and meows loudly for attention, then when you try to find them, they arent there.
7. When they are at the windowsill and you cant be arsed to open the door so you open the window and they attempt to jump in/out of it.
8. When they can't get up to their food bowl, they scratch at the washing machine in order to get lifted up.
9. When you scratch behind their ear and their back leg starts moving as if they are scratching it themselves.
10. When they see a bird and meow really weirdly.
11. When they nudge their head or noses against you so that you'll scratch them.
12. When they attack the dog.
13. When they attack the wool that your mother is trying to knit with because they think its a play thing.
14. When you lift them and they sit across your shoulders or try to lie on your back even though you're standing up.
15. When they purr really loudly like a machine gun or a pigeon.

Okay, I'm going to stop before I end up looking like the old cat lady which I will no doubt be in about 50 years but cats are cool, so ner.

Btw, at least 5 of you managed to comment a while back and I would really appreciate it if you continued to comment on my blog as it's one of my 21 things to have blog commenters and stuff. I know my posts these days arent all that great but just write "Thats nice" or something will ye for gods sake. I feel like Im talking to nobody and analytics tells me otherwise, so comment you moose!!

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day: l'uomo = man. donna = woman.

Bollocks.

So I forgot about BEDA again cause I fail at life. I was planning on talking about how my volunteering thingy ended today and how I felt and stuff but Im late already and now I cba. I was engrossed in a book (number 34/50) and my mum hijacked the laptop for a while. So today's post is going to be a shite one, but I am going to share with you this very cute video that I found.

So enjoy!

Do tigers like catnip? Click here to find out!

Until tomorrow,
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Buona Notte - Good night

Sometimes, I forget things.

Woooooooah. That was a lucky one. I have 30 mins to get this blog posted before it becomes tomorrow and I miss a day of BEDA. I think my forgetfulness is a sign of my growing old age haha.

And now that its gotten this late I have no idea what to blog about. Crapsicles. So my friend just popped up on msn and since he was being alive I asksed him what to blog about, his response was "blog about how the world is supposed to end in 2012 and how it's bullshit". When I told him I knew bugger all about it his next responses where as follows:

Write a poem about how useful paper is
Write a short story about Precilla the Meat Pie.
Talk about how unhealthy carbohydrates are in large quantities
Write three paragraphs about your favourite cloud.

So today's topics are as follows:

1. People are under the belief that the world will end in 2012. It won't. It was supposed to end in 2006. And whenever the solar eclipse happened and also when the millenium happened and aliens were coming to earth. We've made it this long I don't think just cause it's 2012 the world is going to end. Party at mine on 01/01/2013.
2. Paper is white, a wonderful sight, we can use it to write on and sometimes to shite on, paper is good, sometimes add sugar it can become food, paper is fine, this poem is so bad, pass me the wine!
3. Once upon a time there was a Pie, full of meat, called Priscilla. She had a boyfriend called Peter, who was a fork, shiny and silver. His best friend, Pierre was a knife, they cut her up and threw her in a tunnel of darkness. The End.
4. Carbodhydrates are bad in large quantities because they will clog your arteries and you will get fat and die.
5. My favourite cloud is white and fluffy and nice so I can sleep on it or make shapes out of it. I have no idea about clouds so three lines will have to suffice instead of paragraphs. Clouds are nice. But not when they are grey and rainy. White clouds are good.

So, yes, there you go, fun times. This was an interesting post, wasn't it?
Until tomorrow
Sami

Italian phrase of the day = Io sonno povero! = I am poor. (I think that's right anyway..)

Online Friendships.

So, today I had a job interview and I think I did okay. I'll know sometime this weekend so Ill keep you updated on that. Also, today is National Play Day, the only reason I know this is cause I volunteer with kids and we had to take them to a place that had all this stuff on for them to play with. It wasnt too bad, except the weather as per usual cant seem to make up its mind whether to be sunny or rainy.

Anyway. I don't know if any of you are avid youtube users or know anything much about the youtube community. I don't participate as such in it, but I follow a lot of vloggers who are also bloggers linked in my side bar over there. But there is this group on youtube of 5 girls called 5AG which stands for 5 Awesome Girls and they are from all over America. They allocated a day to themselves and have to make a video on that day. This year, each week has a theme and this weeks theme is the phenomenon of online friendships and how weird you think it's going to be to meet your online friend in real.

I felt this was rather apt as in September I'm going to England for my online friend Becca's wedding and there I'll also meet my online friend Rachel. I am beyond excited about this, as it gets me out of the country and fulfills some of my 21 list haha and the fact that we get to meet each other after such a long time is cool. I met Becca once back in 2006 where I went to stay with her for a few days after a horrid break up. But I havent seen her since and we've both grown up lots. I am a bit nervous to fly and meet them as it's been so long and you never know if they are actually going to like you and get on with you irl, but ofc, that's just the idea you have in your head, once you're there it turns into this amazing thing that makes your life so great and glad to have people like that :).

So yeah, I just wanted to voice my opinion and say that I enjoy having online friendships and if I get the chance to meet every one of my online friends, I'd definitely take it. So please leave a comment, tell me if you have ever met an online friend and how did it go and are you going to meet anymore?

Until tomorrow!
Sami

Italian Phrase of the day: Io sono inglese = I am English. ;D

10 Rules For Being Human

It is day 3 of BEDA and I cannot come up with anything interesting enough about my life to blog about right now. Mainly because I didn't do much of anything today other than sit on my arse on facebook. I did leave my house to go borrow my grannies printer and post my cv (yes, another one) for another job. I have an interview in the morning and I havent had an interview in like 5 years. So that's gonna be fun. I'll let you know how that goes.

So, I've become a user of StumbleUpon this last month and I stumble across lots of interesting things on the web and since Im boring, I've decided to share with you 10 Rules for Being Human that stumbled into my presence. So here ye go, I found them here:

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

So I hope you enjoy those. Tomorrow should hopefully be more exciting as it's National Play Day and my job interview! :D

Until tomorrow!
Sami

Italian phrase of the day: Buona Sera - Good evening.

I almost forgot.

I almost forgot that I was doing BEDA hence this quite late night post. I dont really know what to say today as I almost-forgot and didn't manage to plan ahead. Oh life.

So I was just on the Etsy website and it popped "This website has detected that you are in Italy. Would you like to view all prices in Euros?" Um...if only I was in Italy, man. Ohhhh that's just reminded me about my 21 list and how one of those things is to learn a new language. I've always wanted to visit Italy and learn Italian, I dont know what really sparked my interest but it just appealed to me and since I have yet to complete or even start this, I have decided (
literally just now) that I will learn Italian alongside BEDA this month and at the end of every post I will state what I have learnt that day. Except since it's now near 10pm and I have no idea where or how I'm going to learn Italian, I'm going to leave you with an Italian phrase I know and enjoy:

"La Bella Vita" it means "A Beautiful Life". I think I'd like that tattooed on me one day.

Now I'm off to hopefully find a website to teach me Italian. Anyone know of any or can teach me?!

Until Tomorrow (which I promise will be better than this!)
Sami

BEDA

At least once a month every year, bloggers around the world choose a montht o Blog every day. I did it in November on my old blog about 2 years back. But now it is the turn of August. BEDA stands for Blog Everyday in August. This idea was started last year by author Maureen Johnson last year where bloggers and vloggers blogged/vlogged everyday in April but April didnt work out for many of them this year, so August was the alternative A.

Since I have failed at attempting to blog all that much recently and I have a 21-list to complete. Hopefully by blogging everyday in august, alongside the other bloggers, my blog-awareness will increase and fun times will be had.

At the end of other blogger's blogs, they write certain things that are currently going on, such as what colour nail polish they are wearing, how many burritos they have eaten or what their last google search was. I think this is a cute idea and I'm going to take it on board. But I want your ideas. What would you like to know at teh end of every blog for a month? A quote of the day? A cupcake of the day? Or something? Post your ideas in the comments and let me know if you are doing BEDA also.

I have also added links to the sidebar to bloggers I frequent and many of whom will be participating this month, so if you're bored, go give them a read.

Until Tomorrow!
Sami

Future Husband Series; Letter 2

Dear Future Husband,

Sorry it's taken me so long to write again, I just seem to lose track of time and days and weeks and I've no idea what's going on. Currently, I'm trying to find a job so I can pay my rent which I owe from last month and I've got a month to find the money. I've a feeling it's not going to be very fun, or even happen.

So forgive me for not feeling so up to writing to you, I don't want to bother you with my current worries. You and I will have plenty of other things to worry about, rent will be one of them I think. But so will other bills and so will having fun and keeping the spark alive, let's do that, okay?

Maybe get a bottle of wine on the go, to help us along the way though. I don't really know what to tell you now. I've given you a physical description. Maybe I should tell you more about me and how I work which I am not sure I even know, but I'll try.

I am a human being. I am complicated, complex, confusing and I contradict myself all the time. I like sleep, yet I am often an insomniac. Don't worry, I'll figure out a way to let you sleep while I lie awake. I don't want to get married, yet here I am writing letters to you and calling you 'husband'. I'm not sure I want kids either, but apparantley that'll grow out of me eventually.

As for complicated, aren't all women? We get moody and annoyed and easily upset over the silliest things. I know it's annoying to you, but what can you do other than detail with it/us.

Apart from all of those things, I am cool. Definitely cool :P. I read lots of books and sometimes attempt to write them as well as some poetry and blogs. I also spend lots of time online chatting to my friends and stalking people on facebook, or playing farmville and a whole host of other fbook games, haha. I also drink lots of tea and stalk around looking for the best cupcakes in n.ireland. I swear if being a cupcake reviewer was a job, id do it. (Anyone care to pay me to do that plz?!)

Hmm, what else? I volunteer during the summer, helping with a summer scheme that takes kids out on trips everyday. I used to be one of the kids so to help out the next generation is kinda nice :). As well as that, Im spending my summer trying to find a job which sucks since the level of unemployment is so high. Rawrr. Other than that, Im spending time with friends and stuff and thats about it.

So, I'm not really sure what's next for us. But I promise it'll be sooner than this one came.
Love always,
Future Wife
xoxo

The Book Of Love Is Long and Boring

"There comes a point where you just love someone. Not because they're good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn't mean you'll be together forever. It doesn't mean you won't hurt each other. It just means you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it."

I'm not going to lecture you on love. I just thought this quote was rather apt for certain people and things atm and I liked it, so I thought I'd share.

I know I promised a future husband letter and trust me, I'm working on it. So for now, you can just mull over my quote, leave a comment and send me abusive msn/facebook msgs to update more often.

Sami
xox

I Wrote This For You.

I know a lot of us have been having a hard time lately. I've been having one too. I've been filling out application forms til my head and hand hurts, I check every single day for an email, for new jobs I can apply for and yet no-one wants to hire me. I feel like Im not good enough and I shouldn't, because I am good and it's the company's loss. It's mine too a little because Im the one trying to pay rent at the end of the month but still.

Im not going to tell you that everything's going to be alright because let's face it, it probably isn't. You've got to struggle and climb and pull yourself up that mountain and sometimes the grass is browner on the other side. But when you get to the top, for just a moment, you feel good, you've made it this far. And you'll be happy for a while and then you'll slip and fall back into the mud down the other side and have to climb back up. As someone once said: Why do we fall? So we can learn to get back up again.

So even though I'm being rejected time and time again by these companies, I keep trying because someone along the way will say "Yes, her, she's exactly what Im looking for." Someone will want me to work for them, someone will believe in me and my abilities. And those who dont, well nothing I can do about it.

As well as being rejected by employers, I have some stupid girl stuff going on in my head which is never fun. But I'm talking to my friends and they are awesome at telling me to wise up or giving me advice when I need it. So this is for them.

This is for all of you who are going through a rough time. You'll reach the top eventually and when you do, it will all have been worth it and when you start tumbling again, you know you've made it through once, you can do it again. Life is unfair, but you get what you're given and you learn to deal with it. And at the end of the day, "all you can hope for is the love you've felt to equal the pain you've gone through"* and hope that it's enough.

And if that doesn't make you feel better, then This certainly will.


*Quote from an Editor's song.
**I'll have a future husband letter on tues/wed for you
***Thanks for all the comments on the last post. Please keep them coming :)

Future Husband Series; Letter 1.

So recently, I've been reading round some blogs tryna up my blogosphere-presence by commenting and stuff and I discovered PeterDeWolf via one of my favourite blogggers, Hope Dies Last. In Peter's blog he likes to write poetry and letters to his future wife which can both be beautiful and heart-warming or sexy and steamy!

The discovery of his future-wife-letters timed with the arrival of one-very-sexy-australian named John James entrance into the uks ultimate reality tv show, Big Brother 11 and his talks about what he does and doesn't like in bed and other places, have lead me to believe that he is my future husband. So I decided, until BB11 ends and to give me something to write about, I'm going to run a future-husband series of blogs where I will write letters to future-husband and I may even get some of my friends to guest-blog some letters for hilarity's sake. So, lo and behold, Future-Husband Letter 1 is included with this entry.

Also, as a side note, if you're reading this blog, can you comment? Really, it gives me more incentive to write more because I know you're commenting and reading and wanting more. So, please comment. Even if it just says "Okay Sami", just write that if you cant be constructive, please? Thank you. Moving On.

Dear Future Husband,

I am Sami. I am your future wife, just thought I'd introduce myself. Im sure you'll learn a lot about me from these letters anyway.

I guess since we haven't met yet, I should give a physical description.

I'm a brunette technically. But after going through some gothic-emo stage in my life, my hairs a bit worse for wear, not that you'll mind as you run your fingers through it gently, which I hope you will, cause I like that.

And let's be honest, my boobs are a bit of a handful. But you can handle it, so don't worry about that. And my booty. It's a bit like beyonce's. Well maybe a bit smaller and not as toned. But booty and boobs, thank my mother for those genes if you will.

Also, I'm quite short. I reach a mighty 5'5ish. But I like being small. Good things come in small packages, most of the time.

I've got good legs for being short. I inherited those from my mother too. Shes cool, she'll like you, I hope.

I've got 2 tattoos also, a result of my time at Uni. One is on my inner right leg, it's a small butterfly, with two pink flowers. I decided that the butterfly is me and the flowers represent family and friends. Some people say the placement is unusual, I like to believe its intimate.

My other tattoo is on my lower back, it's a butterfly with cherry blossoms. I like it. It doesn't really have meaning yet. Can you tell I like butterflies?

Well, kind of. I like that butterflies are beautiful, that they grow from caterpillar, into a cocoon where they immerse unique and gorgeous into their freedom and independence. It's kind of like the transition from young girl into young woman. Our knowledge and experiences help us form our older, more beautiful selves.

I wear butterflies round my neck as a necklace too. Im currently wearing a small silver one my mother bought me. I also have a swarovski crystal butterfly that changes colour with the reflection of the light, i did wear that for a while but im saving it for my birthday now.

I also only wear one ring at the moment, on my middle left-hand finger. It's small, white gold, with silver and sapphire diamonds. I like small and dainty things (thats a hint for you dear, a small and dainty ring will go over way better than a huge rock ;)).

Im not going to lie either, I am not skinny. I would actually be what we know as an average woman depending on how much you buy into the skinny-girls thing. But I hope you like curves. It's way sexier to be able to outline the curve of a woman's body than have a stick thin straight up and down woman (no offence to readers there).

One of my favourite features is my eyes. They are a coffee-bean brown and though they hide behind glasses half the time and are quite small (and i look a bit chinese on occasion) they are still nice to stare back into. I believe eyes are the windows to the soul, so it will take me a while to be able to stare at you completely. Don't be offended by that, it just takes a lot of strength to be able to stare at someone so seriously, to look deep into their eyes and further into their soul.

My neck, as far as necks go, is pretty normal. But if you want to lay some sweet kisses on it, I would thoroughly enjoy it. And you will too, when you learn how to work it, work me.

So there you go future-husband, a small snippet of me and plenty more to come.
Love always,
Future Wife.

Love Cats, Hate Insomnia

So you think any normal 20 year old during her summer, would you know have a job, work some days and then go out on her nights off and stumble home drunk at 2am and crawl into bed and sleep it off before working again and the routine goes on and on.

Well, I am not a normal 20 year old. I don't have a job, though I am trying my hardest to get myself one and since I dont really have the money to go out night after night, I spend my nights lying awake til 4am because I cant sleep due to some darn reason or another.

Then when I finally get to sleep, I have weird dreams. So late last night, I was tryna sleep and my cat Twix decided to amuse me so I decided to compile a list of reasons a) why i love cats and b) why I hate Insomnia. So here we go.

Why I Love Cats
1. Because they are soft and cuddly and cute.
2. Because they are highly amusing when you are eating crisps and they paw at it and knock it out of your hand.
3. Then when they eat the crisp they proceed to lick their lips 100 times over because of the flavour.
4. In your attempt to try and sleep, you get yourself a glass of milk, your cat then tries to drink it at the same time as you and fails. So then decides she'll dip her paw in and drink it that way. Then when you finish your glass, she dips her paws in and basically washes the dish clean.
5. When they nudge your nose with their nose, it's like a wee cat-kiss.
6. They always know when you feel sad and will come and cuddle you.
7. When they do that funny meow when they are sitting on the windowledge and they see birds they want to catch.
8. When they are so attached to you that they follow you about the house as you go to make tea, or use the bathroom and back again.
9. When you scratch behind their ears and their back leg goes as if they are scratching it themselves.
10. When you are lifting them to put them outside and they clung on to you for dear life like "nooo don't put me outside!".

Why I Hate Insomnia.
1. Because lying awake at night when everyone else is asleep is highly boring.
2. Since you dont get to sleep until some ungodly hour, you sleep until some late hour of the day and then it's too late to be bothered to do anything.
3. It royally fucks up your eating pattern too.
4. Because there are only so many times you can play farmville, petville, read facebook or listen to your ipod before you go insane.
5. Because everyone thinks you're lazy because you sleep all day, but really it's because you can't sleep at night!
6. Unless you know other insomniacs, you have no one to talk to so you just lie in bed, awake, thinking of all the things you dont want to think about.
7. When your friends try to contact you at like 9am to go into town but your like "I just got to sleep dont disturb me!!!!" and then they're all like "Jesus, whats up your arse?" haha.
8. Because its just generally shit.
9. Because when you do eventually get to sleep, you have the weirdest dreams that don't make sense and wake up confused.
10. Because when someone asks what you've been up to all day and you say "Sleepin lolz" they're like "You're so lazy, get yourself a life!!". I have oneee, it just involves being awake at ungodly hours of the night, maybe you should try it sometime!

So there you go. 10 reasons why I love cats and hate insomnia, because I've nothing better to blog about right now. Sigh.

p.s. Since I was talking about cats, thought I'd give a shout-out to this lovely tumblr blog: Cute Boys With Cats.